~An Ode to Coffee~

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silverdragonams
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~An Ode to Coffee~

Post by silverdragonams » Fri Feb 01, 2013 1:23 pm

A good friend of mine posted this elsewhere. It gave me a giggle so I thought I'd share it for FP and Jalya and the other coffee worshippers here. This poem was printed in London, 1674.



A BRIEF
DESCRIPTION
OF THE
EXCELLENT VERTUES
OF THAT
Sober and wholesome Drink,
CALLED
COFFEE,
AND ITS
INCOMPARABLE
EFFECTS
IN
PREVENTING or CURING
MOST
DISEASES
INCIDENT TO
HUMANE BODIES.


—— Florescat Arabica Panta.

When the sweet Poison of the Treacherous Grape,
Had Acted on the world a General Rape;
Drowning our very Reason and our Souls
In such deep Seas of large o'reflowing Bowls,
That new Philosophers Swore they could feel
The Earth to Stagger, as her Sons did Reel:
When Foggy Ale, leavying up mighty Trains
Of muddy Vapours, had besieg'd our Brains;
And Drink, Rebellion, and Religion too,
Made Men so Mad, they knew not what to do;
Then Heaven in Pity, to Effect our Cure,
And stop the Ragings of that Calenture,
First sent amongst us this All-healing-Berry,
At once to make us both Sober and Merry.
Arabian Coffee, a Rich Cordial
To Purse and Person Beneficial,
Which of so many Vertues doth partake,
Its Country's called Felix for its sake.
From the Rich Chambers of the Rising Sun,
Where Arts, and all good Fashions first begun,
Where Earth with choicest Rarities is blest,
And dying Phœnix builds Her wondrous Nest:
COFFEE arrives, that Grave and wholesome Liquor,
That heals the Stomack, makes the Genius quicker,
Relieves the Memory, Revives the Sad,
And chears the Spirits, without making Mad;
For being of a Cleansing QUALITY,
By NATURE warm, Attenuating and Dry,
Its constant Use the fullenest Griefs will Rout,
Removes the Dropsie, gives ease to the Gout,
And soon dispatcheth wheresoever it finds
Scorbutick Humours, Hypochondriak winds,
Rheums, Ptisicks, Palsies, Jaundise, Coughs, Catarrhs,
And whatsoe're with Nature leavyeth Warrs;
It helps Digestion, want of Appetite,
And quickly set Consumptive Bodies Rights;
A Friendly Entercourse it doth Maintain,
Between the Heart, the Liver, and the Brain,
Natures three chiefest VVheels, whose Jars we know,
Threaten the whole Microcosme with overthrow;
In Spring, when Peccant Humours Encrease most,
And Summer, when the Appetite is lost,
In Autumn, when Raw Fruits Diseases Breed,
And VVinter time too cold to Purge or Bleed;
Do but this Rare ARABIAN Cordial Use,
And thou may'st all the Doctors Slops Refuse.
Hush then, dull QUACKS, your Mountebanking cease,
COFFEE's a speedier Cure for each Disease;
How great its Vertues are, we hence may think,
The VVorlds third Part makes it their common Drink;
The Amourous Gallant, whose hot Reins do fail,
Stung by Conjunction with the Dragons-Tail:
Let him but Tipple here, shall find his Grief
Discharg'd, without the Sweting-Tubs Relief;
Nor have the LADIES Reason to Complain,
As fumbling Doe-littles are apt to Faign;
COFFEE's no Foe to their obliging Trade,
By it Men rather are more Active made;
'Tis stonger Drink, and base adulterate VVine,
Enfeebles Vigour, and makes Nature Pine;
Loaden with which, th' Impotent Sott is Led
Like a Sowc'd Hogshead to a Misses Bed;
But this Rare Settle-Brain prevents those Harms,
Conquers Old Sherry, and brisk Clarret Charms.
Sack, I defie thee with an open Throat,
VVhilst Trusty COFFEE is my Antedote;
Methinks I hear Poets Repent th'have been,
So long Idolaters to that sparkling Queen;
For well they may perceive 'tis on Her score
APOLLO keeps them all so Cursed Poor:
Let them avoid Her tempting Charms, and then
VVe hope to see the VVits grow Aldermen;
In Breif, all you who Healths Rich Treasures Prize,
And Court not Ruby Noses, or blear'd Eyes,
But own Sobriety to be your Drift,
And Love at once good Company and Thrift;
To VVine no more make VVit and Coyn a Trophy,
But come each Night and Frollique here in Coffee.
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3DWarrior
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Post by 3DWarrior » Fri Feb 01, 2013 6:40 pm

"I'd bathe in it if it wasn't so expensive."

-My husband, when asked by a friend if he liked coffee

Moonyju
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Post by Moonyju » Fri Feb 01, 2013 9:42 pm

*raises her cup*

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Freeze01
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Post by Freeze01 » Mon Feb 04, 2013 1:34 pm

coffee is yucky

*runs*

Rudiki
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Post by Rudiki » Mon Feb 04, 2013 3:11 pm

Coffee IS yucky, but the poem is great! Makes me want to annotate it!
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JD Smith
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Post by JD Smith » Mon Feb 04, 2013 7:09 pm

Coffee is great; you just have to let it sit on the hot plate about 4 or 5 hours after it is run through the filter in the so-called brewing phase. And you can add no pollutatnts to it; just sit back and enjoy it black.
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Moonyju
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Post by Moonyju » Mon Feb 04, 2013 9:30 pm

One word for a good coffee:

CINNAMON.

:D

(Yes, I'm sure that surprises you all.)

Doug Danger
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Post by Doug Danger » Mon Feb 04, 2013 10:01 pm

The Double D Special, Double shot of expresso added to a medium hot chocolate..( makes peoples head spin after the 2-3rd cups, I like having guinea pigs to test some concocktions on ). I work for Heritage Coffee Comapany in its lab I get to test roast the shittiest coffees, Robusta beans, to the best Not consumed and run through the digestive tract of a small mamal coffee beans .. ;)

I do not drink the coffee though, I think its yucky too.. but the smell of a freshly roasted stilll warm bean as it runs through my grinder ( steam is released along with other gasses) smell so damed good I want to jam a spoon in it and eat it, but trust me, it does not taste the way it smells by the ground spoon full... ha!..

Xanthalas
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Post by Xanthalas » Sat Feb 09, 2013 12:56 am

Hello. My name is Xanthalas and I'm a coffee lover.

Hot, Cold, Iced, Whipped, Black, Cafe' con Leche' Espresso, Irish. You name it, I likely love it.

I find it rather interesting that there are some people who love the flavour, and hate the aroma, or vice versa. (Personally, I love both.)
[i]I live yet do not live in me,
am waiting as my life goes by,
and die because I do not die.
- St John of the Cross.[/i]


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davicurtistaggart
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ode to...

Post by davicurtistaggart » Sat Feb 09, 2013 5:21 pm

one of my fondest memories of my childhood(yes,long,long time ago in a galaxy very nearby)was at the A&P grocery stores which back then seemed to be everywhere.my mother would bring the big red bag of coffee beans to the checkout.the very large gentleman(every A&P had one at its front) resplendent in his short-sleeved white shirt,black bow tie,and red A&P apron would open the bag and,lifting it high,poured its contents into the huge red coffee grinder,and placed the now-empty bag beneath the grinder's spout.the grinder growled,and there emerged the aroma...indescribable in its beauty!i was always eager to"help"mommy shop.that wonderful smell,like my other two favourite childhood smells...gasoline and leaves burning in autumn...is almost gone from my world.***sigh***then came the day,years later,when i first sipped coffee.yuck!i guess i've never recovered from the shock and disappointment.i suppose there must be some moral about expectations,contrasts,and true natures,but i can't articulate it.***wistfully sniffs the empty air and chugs a Coke***
Last edited by davicurtistaggart on Wed Feb 13, 2013 6:06 am, edited 1 time in total.

galen_macbyrne
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Post by galen_macbyrne » Sun Feb 10, 2013 1:58 am

"It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion,
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
The hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion."

- seen on a T-shirt at a con -

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