OBITUARY OF THE LATE MR COMMON SENSE
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
1. Knowing when to come in out of the rain
2. Why the early bird gets the worm
3. Life isn't always fair
4. Maybe it was my fault
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies such as:
Don't spend more than you can earn
And reliable strategies, such as:
Adults, not children, are in charge
His health began to deteriorate when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Tylenol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when it became punishable for you to defend yourself from a burglar in your own home but the burglar could sue you for assault.
He began to fade rapidly when well-intentioned, but overbearing, regulations were set in place.
Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teenagers suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee in a restaurant was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers, I-Know-My-Rights, Someone-Else-Is-To-Blame, and I-am-A-Victim.
Not many people attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
The death of Common Sense
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The death of Common Sense
I got sent this as an email at work. Depressingly accurate in the most part...
[i]"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from a religious conviction." [/i]
Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)
Blaise Pascal (1623 - 1662)
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Very true it should be put in the office of every jobsworth and PC idiot and made compulsory reading. But they would just decide it was sexist, racist discriminatory anti whatever and any other thing they wanted it to be.
And they would certainly decide there needed a meeting to issue a safety certificate before the nail could be put in to hang it on. And it would defiantly be a fire risk and a risk to health and safety.
And they would certainly decide there needed a meeting to issue a safety certificate before the nail could be put in to hang it on. And it would defiantly be a fire risk and a risk to health and safety.
A quote from a mage, without my magic I am just an Elf in a bathrobe.
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That is soooo true. Though stella and her coffee should have been left out. I'm sorry but if you need skin grafting done due to coffee burns. especially when it was a mcdonalds employee who spilled it on you. you deserve to sue them.
[b]"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons."[/b] - [i]General MacArthur [/i]
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i thought it wasnt an employee that did it though, she had got the coffee in the drive thru and had set it between her legs to drive off when is sloshed and spiltLir'ana wrote:That is soooo true. Though stella and her coffee should have been left out. I'm sorry but if you need skin grafting done due to coffee burns. especially when it was a mcdonalds employee who spilled it on you. you deserve to sue them.
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Let the truth be known...
The woman ordered the coffee at the counter, made a snide remark to the cashier, had especially hot "molten" coffee thrown on her and received 2nd and 3rd degree burns over 65% of her body (resulting in the loss of the use of her left arm and all of her remaining powers of telepathy). According to reports, the woman was brought back to life by Hillary Clinton.
The woman ordered the coffee at the counter, made a snide remark to the cashier, had especially hot "molten" coffee thrown on her and received 2nd and 3rd degree burns over 65% of her body (resulting in the loss of the use of her left arm and all of her remaining powers of telepathy). According to reports, the woman was brought back to life by Hillary Clinton.