Evrythg you wanted to know about sex but were afraid to ask!

Zelle · Post by **Zelle** » Thu Oct 21, 2004 11:03 pm

We all rib our favorite kobolds about their sex lives and if they're gonna be having kids and so forth (put up that fence Meegan!)

So this led, naturally, to scratching our (Merom and I discussing this) heads. Do kobolds lay eggs? Do they bear live young? What about sex? . . . ok, so I'm more curious than he was *grins*

After finding a nice little link all about everything except the sex part, I bulled on, determined to figure out if they HAVE sex, of some kind, or if the males just fertilize the eggs. Well, found this link:

http://www.netbook-of-uck.net/online_guide/9_races.htm

It's an eyeopener!

So RP that freaky sex festish, man! You know you want to!

Khaelindra · Post by **Khaelindra** » Fri Oct 22, 2004 7:53 am

Dragons, Gold:
Gold dragons mate out of love, not lust, as they have strong emotions but very little sex drive. Everything involved from the moment of conception to the time when the hatchling is expelled from the nest is planned out ahead of time by the parents. Gold dragons mate 200 years apart and take up to five years to plan it out, and they lay only a single egg at a time. Gold dragons generally never breed with anything besides a gold dragon, but occasionally they will give themselves to a besotted adventurer as a reward for a service if they are forced to by their honor.

5 years to plan...200 years apart...

Ehm...Lyander...about that immortality thing we had planned...

Really Zelle, you must have a perverted mind to be able to think of the required keywords to find a site called "Guide to Unlawful Carnal Knowledge"...

And i don't want any more TELL's about what draconic offspring i will have too, or i'll breathe on you!

Zelle · Post by **Zelle** » Fri Oct 22, 2004 4:08 pm

kobold+sex

*grins*

jarman · Post by **jarman** » Fri Oct 22, 2004 5:58 pm

Gold dragons generally never breed with anything besides a gold dragon, but occasionally they will give themselves to a besotted adventurer as a reward for a service if they are forced to by their honor.

Glad Merom's only REWARDS have been items and gold.

slave_of_emotions · Post by **slave_of_emotions** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 9:11 am

Nymphs and Satyrs:
Nymphs and Satyrs are yin and yang to each other. While the nymph embodies feminine sexuality - beautiful, graceful, selective, and emotional - the satyr embodies masculine sexuality - riotous, promiscuous, intense, and not picky. Making love to either is an unforgettable experience as they gain a +10 racial bonus to all Sexual Prowess rolls.

Satyrs are sexually insatiable and will rut with anything, including all humanoids and goats, fairies, and dryads. They are particularly insatiable after their festivals to the god of wine, and will carry off women of all species while in this state, returning them in very befuddled and pleasured condition. Their most favored targets are nymphs, however, and they will go to any length in trickery or romance to win one over or mate with one. While they stop short of violent rape, frustrated satyrs are not past stealing upon a nymph in her sleep. Even if they should seduce one, though, a relationship does not last long.

Satyr are incredibly potent and are always Horny, and are instantly ready for action again after orgasm. If they can, they will mate for hours or days at a time. They find the idea of gay men abhorrent and react to revealed gays with a miffed, disgusted demeanor, but, of course, have absolutely no problem with lesbians.
Satyr and nymphs breed true, producing new satyrs or nymphs depending on the gender of the child. Pregnancy is long and dangerous for nymphs, increasing their reluctance to mate.

Now i wish me to see someday a satyr custom race

Void Hamlet · Post by **Void Hamlet** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 9:21 am

slave_of_emotions wrote:Now i wish me to see someday a satyr custom race

Trolls and "Oooba!" are pretty much enough disturbance to me IC, please don't give more corny ideas to Grimm Imagolas!

Void Hamlet · Post by **Void Hamlet** » Mon Oct 25, 2004 11:33 pm

P.S. Finally found it, thanks to Khaelindra's signature in Avlis forums:

Teria Kross wrote:
So I a friend of mine and I have a question... (directed to Silk)
Do lesbian pixies do it while they are flying, or do they actually land first?

Silk wrote:
That would depend on when they get horny... They are very spontanious and will most certainly have girly sex in mid-air. In fact they consider mid-air 69 much more pleasurable than the land-based version. Many young pixies actually time their climaxes during a high-altitude free-fall for maximum pleasure

SIlvermane · Post by **SIlvermane** » Tue Oct 26, 2004 2:46 am

Zelle,

Thank you for posting what I already know, now that everone knows our Kobolds business surrounding our business you will all have to just wait to see if anything comes up

Meegan

Is good to see it in writing tho...

Void Hamlet · Post by **Void Hamlet** » Wed Oct 27, 2004 6:23 pm

* clearing throat *

OK, this should go like : ARGH! Paladins!

* runs away screaming *

What is the rant all about? Well, today Paladin Knight You-Know-Whom's squire Linthar finally decided to get rid of the skirt meddling in her feet and indeed got the fair concern by the Paladin Knight that she might catch a cold.
But it does not end with it, he starts quite a lecture on how his heart is sealed by Almara and on the fact that he has never been with a woman; and that a soldier is not supposed to settle and get married, and that his subject soldiers are like his own children with the sole difference that he sends them to death every day.
The squire indeed listens as any caring mother should listen to her bravado kid, and tries not to laugh - because he is a Paladin, you see; so he's forgiven about being unhuman.
But that is not all, for the Paladin happily announces he is in love, and while some folk are aptly staring at his squire's hip-high boots, the Paladin specifies that he is in love with his Celestial Army Knight's longsword.
Well, Paladin, squire Linthar is in love with your - ehhh - longsword too; it's keen, you see, and other things it can do also.

In short: Lawful good holly warriors ROCK!

Their asexuality is just awesome.

Dare you change this behaviour, I'll whip you till you start screaming.

P.S. Fellow PnP DM on paladins:

You indeed should be happy to see such a devoted paladin. Could be worse ... I've worked up a order of paladins called the "sacred band" where each has a partner whom they fight side by side with, and are ... very very close to. Which is made worse by it being an all male group, and the older more experienced knights who have lost a partner in battle often take new recruits under their wing ...
Glad I opted for that variant of the "sacred band" anyway, rather than having the paladin have a "special" bond with their warhorses.

Zyndro · Post by **Zyndro** » Wed Oct 27, 2004 8:17 pm

Here's some general wierdness.

Mind Flayers are usually asexual creatures who occasionally spawn tadpoles that transform other humanoids in to Mind Flayers through a process called ceremorphosis. In this process, the host’s brain and head are devoured and replaced by the tadpole, which grafts itself on to the stump and mutates the body in to an illithid. Because of this, they have no sexuality. However, a subculture of Mind Flayers find that sensing the sexuality of other species awakens a long sleeping hungers within them that they cannot feed. Members of this subculture force their thralls to mate with each other, or pleasure them themselves, to vicariously experience their emotions and sensations. Other mind flayers view this subculture with the same disgust most humans would have for a group of people who have sex with, say, chickens, or sheep.

If this accurate, then not all mind Flayers would be the same size. They could replace the head of a brownie or halfling with a tadpole and create a mini-flayer, or replace the head of a frost giant to super-size it. Or if they replaced the head of a dog, you'd have a four-legged flayer, or replace the head of a centaur for a four-legged, two-armed flayer.

Okay.. I'll stop now.

teleri · Post by **teleri** » Wed Oct 27, 2004 8:33 pm

Zyndro wrote:Here's some general wierdness.

Mind Flayers are usually asexual creatures who occasionally spawn tadpoles that transform other humanoids in to Mind Flayers through a process called ceremorphosis. In this process, the host’s brain and head are devoured and replaced by the tadpole, which grafts itself on to the stump and mutates the body in to an illithid. Because of this, they have no sexuality. However, a subculture of Mind Flayers find that sensing the sexuality of other species awakens a long sleeping hungers within them that they cannot feed. Members of this subculture force their thralls to mate with each other, or pleasure them themselves, to vicariously experience their emotions and sensations. Other mind flayers view this subculture with the same disgust most humans would have for a group of people who have sex with, say, chickens, or sheep.
If this accurate, then not all mind Flayers would be the same size. They could replace the head of a brownie or halfling with a tadpole and create a mini-flayer, or replace the head of a frost giant to super-size it. Or if they replaced the head of a dog, you'd have a four-legged flayer, or replace the head of a centaur for a four-legged, two-armed flayer.

Okay.. I'll stop now.

This is extremly non-cannon and as such should be taken very tounge in cheek. There are 3 places they talk about the illithid life cycle and none mention this.

Cheers,
teleri

slave_of_emotions · Post by **slave_of_emotions** » Thu Oct 28, 2004 11:10 am

Most of the things there are not official but most sound rather logical so that it might be used as roleplay help/ideas for someone.
For example the part about Red Dragons, it gave me new ideas of what to add to the slow transform process of a red dragon disciple

Zelle · Post by **Zelle** » Thu Oct 28, 2004 2:01 pm

As well for the ones where D&D DID skirt around what goes on in the bedroom. Believe me I searched for offcial D&D lore on the kobold stuff, and what I found was not incompatible with this, but far less, er, detailed.

teleri · Post by **teleri** » Sat Oct 30, 2004 5:31 am

Zelle wrote:As well for the ones where D&D DID skirt around what goes on in the bedroom. Believe me I searched for offcial D&D lore on the kobold stuff, and what I found was not incompatible with this, but far less, er, detailed.

The Kobold stuff looked about right but the illithad stuff was just out in left field.

cheers,
teleri

T'Holoth Shadowborn · Post by **T'Holoth Shadowborn** » Sat Oct 30, 2004 5:17 pm

*makes a humping motion*

Void Hamlet · Post by **Void Hamlet** » Sat Oct 30, 2004 10:43 pm

T'Holoth Shadowborn wrote:*makes a humping motion*

You, Sire, go hide in a corner, this is not a discussion to thuck your heavenly innocent nose in.