Help Rudiki Cook a Turkey!

[Rudiki]

Hi!

This coming Thursday is the Thanksgiving holiday for those of us in the U.S., and due to unforseen circumstances having scuttled previous Thanksgiving plans, Rudiki is going to attempt to cook a turkey for the very first time.

Rudiki has many talents, but Rudiki is not known for culinary expertise. Rudiki worships the microwave. Rudiki's friends are wont to remark that they can tell when Rudiki is trying to actually cook by the sound of the smoke alarm going off.

So Rudiki (I) needs (need) your help! So far I have:

1.) A free frozen twenty-pound turkey from the local supermarket, earned with frequent-buyer points, which is, as of a couple hours ago, thawing in the refrigerator. It is, thank GOD, equipped with a device that pops up to tell you when it is done.

2.) A big disposable pan to cook the thing in.

3.) Instructions from various friends to remember to remove the bag of innards before cooking, to rinse the bird inside and out after thawing, and to cook it without stuffing because it will stay moister that way.

4.) Vague ideas for side dishes such as yams, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and green bean casserole.

So far the assistance from the gaming community hasn't been stellar, as evidenced by the following conversation:

Me: "Can you do mashed potatoes like your parents make?"

Akai, unhesitatingly: "No."

Me: "What do they use to mash them with?"

Akai, uncertainly: "A mashy-thingie?"

So you can see why help is needed. I know there are some excellent cooks out there, so I'm asking for any suggestions on turkey-cooking and/or side dish cooking. Please make them easy for a cooking ignoramus like myself to understand and execute.

I'll keep you informed of progress, or lack thereof!

THANKS!

[_JM_]

Not sure what advice can offer. My cooking technique is "put thing in oven, light gas, leave for a while". Turkeys and chickens I normally wrap in foil and follow the instructions to cook it for so long per pound plus so long, and unwrap the foil so long before the end of that to let it crisp up.

Maybe some sausage meat balls? Depends how much room there is in your oven but popping some dollops of sausage meat in about half hour before end of cooking time seems to work well-ish.

Mashed potatoes wise I put some small potatoes in a bowl of water in the microwave and zap them for ten minutes. Stir them around, another ten minutes, then take them out and pop them on a piece of kitchen roll while I get rid of the water. Then some butter / spread into the nice hot bowl, potatoes back in again, and chop and stir with a butter knife. Results do vary as sometimes the potatoes absorb more water than other times and so it is squidgier mash. Or I put in too much butter. And as you have a 20lb turkey you'd need rather more potatoes than I've ever done that way.

[silverdragonams]

Turkey - Get a box of Reynold's Oven Bags. You'll find them with plastic baggies and aluminum foil in the grocery. Cook your turkey per the directions inside the box. You can't go wrong with these. They are basically big plastic oven proof bags that keep moisture inside the turkey while still allowing it to get brown.

If you want to get fancy you can brine your turkey, but you will need a big tub and room in the fridge to accommodate it. Its pretty involved, but I can explain if you want to know how.

Stuffing - Stove top stuffing is your friend if you want easy.

Yams/Mashed Potatoes - I always combine these two and make mashed yams. Peel and cube the yams, then boil in a large pot until tender. Drain the water then mash with a potato masher or a fork. Add some salt, a stick of butter (its Thanksgiving, use real butter ), a dash of cinnamon and a dash of nutmeg. When you serve them, top with a little more butter and a spoon full of brown sugar.

Pie and Gravy you really need some experience to make from scratch, but you can get both premade and usually on sale this time of year. For pies look for Mrs. Smith's or Sara Lee pies in the frozen food and make them the night before. They're not home made, but they are still yummy. Gravy you can get in a jar and its usually in the soup section.

[Moonyju]

I can't help much with the turkey cooking.. I don't eat the stuff myself. =)

However.. if you like mashed potatoes, cook them then mash them with a potato-masher (if you don't have one, you can get one for $1 or otherwise cheap in some dollar store) with some milk and butter. For added yummyness, use garlic butter, or, better, freshly pressed (or chopped) garlic. Add some parsley. And, if you like, add some cooked carrots. You can also cook the potatoes thoroughly and place them in the food processor if you have one, with all of the above ingredients.

Also, you can cut the potatoes in wedges, place them in a pan with herbs and spices and olive oil (or butter) and place them in the oven until cooked and a bit browned. =)

Otherwise, you can also make a salad to go with the turkey... or cook some other veggies (or get frozen veggies that you cook in water or steamed)...

... and silverdragonams' method sounds yummy too!

[Tremayne7]

Foodnetwork.com is your friend too. Check there for some easy receipts.

HUGS to both you and Akai. Let me know if you'd like some actual receipts.

[Zombie]

Mrs Zombie likes her mashed potato very smooth, so we use a food processor or blender to effectively have whipped potato. Now the nice thing about this is it is no effort to do, there are no lumps and it’s dead easy to add extra flavourings.

To cook the potatoes you need to peel and cut them into halves or quarters if they are big. Then boil them. They are ready to come out when you can poke them with a sharp knife or skewer and they slide off. Drain them in a colander (a bowl with lots of holes in it) and leave them to stand for a moment before mashing them. Mrs Zombie likes to add a little grated cheese to the food processor (which makes it a bugger to clean off later….) I like to add garlic.

The bird will do well in one of the oven bags like SD suggested. Some folk like cover the bird in bacon but for a first time, keep it simple. A little bacon as a side dish though would be nice. The down side to the bag is it becomes a bit of a pain if you want to make gravy from scratch, and you MUST have gravy. Good gravy is a fine art though so your best bet is to rely on premade or packet gravy to begin with. A brown onion gravy should be nice.

It is well worth having a look at some websites regarding oven temperature, bird weight and cooking times, just so you have an idea of when things are likely done. If you poke the bird with a knife or skewer the juices should run clear.
An under cooked bird can still be salvaged by slicing it and microwaving it. If you are doing that though you will need to take the meat away from the bones. Seriously, you don’t want to serve up pink meat. If you over cook it all is not lost, just hide it under gravy

For stuffing, a store brought oven top stuffing is your best choice. It is easy and you can keep an eye on it.

[Shannen]

I cut and boil potatoes with their skins on, along with a bunch of whole, peeled garlic cloves, Rudiki, then mash them all together, adding the water the potatoes and garlic boiled in to moisten it along with salt, pepper, sour cream and butter (or better yet Tofutti Sour Supreme instead of sour cream). I love it that way, and it's a favorite of everyone I feed.

Also, butternut squash is super easy to microwave: Cut it in half vertically, scoop out seeds, place squash halves on a microwave-safe plate, cut sides down, microwave for 10-15 minutes or so until it's soft, then scoop it out and mash it. I don't put anything on it but you can do salt, pepper, butter, whatever.

[Tremayne7]

Oh! I just remembered! OreIda makes really good mashed potatoes and they're microwavable!

Yes, you need a potato masher, lots of butter and a touch of milk. Oh and I like what Zombie suggested too!

[davicurtistaggart]

sorry,but my entire knowledge of what to do comes from that esteemable stooge,larry fine,and consists of the following:
always make sure to remove the label from the can of stuffing before inserting it into the turkey
sorry.happy thanksgiving to you and all other statesiders!

[Moonyju]

Oooh... also.. I read some great tip once for people cooking with a low budget. =)

They were talking about a chicken, but I assume a turkey will do. Instead of cooking it in the oven, you boil it in water. Apparently makes the meat very soft and tasty and will easily peel off. Plus, boiling it makes your very own chicken broth! Well turkey, in your case. Keep the broth aside to cook rice in it.... or, another idea, use it to mash your potatoes instead of butter! You can also keep the broth to make a big batch of soup. ... and believe me, soup is -easy- to make.

This article seemed good with instructions and all... I stopped reading at the picture of the raw chicken.. I, er, want to keep my breakfast down, thank you very much. =)

http://blog.asmartmouth.com/2008/10/18/ ... ing-stock/

[Rudiki]

*re-reads all submissions and rolls up sleeves*

[Moonyju]

Good luck!



... and most important of all...


HAVE FUN!!!!!

[Rudiki]

The turkey is in the oven! Granted it didn't fit at first and the oven rack had to be moved down to the lowest possible setting.

Also, the turkey is inexplicably missing part of one wing, which makes us wonder whether the turkey farmer also had a Siberian husky...(see Guinea fowl post)

Also, the neck was tough to remove because it was still frozen into the body cavity, which makes me hope the thing is sufficiently defrosted...but the rest of it seems to be.

Also, I think it's unfair that the bag of giblets and crap and the neck are hidden in TWO SEPARATE PLACES in the bird, so you have an extra chance to miss one or the other.

Now I get to relax and wait awhile before working on the rest of the meal...maybe I'll get in game!

[Rudiki]

Success! If not quite triumph. I was running around like crazy trying to get everything done at the same time and will NEVER do that again. Thanks so much for all the great suggestions and help!

The turkey came out slightly dry on the drumsticks, but otherwise just right, and I only set the smoke alarm off once, but the green bean casserole was easily salvaged, so it's all good.

We had: Turkey baked on a bed of carrots and onions, stove top stuffing, green bean casserole, and mashed potatoes, plus store-bought pecan and sweet potato pies.

We didn't have, because I couldn't manage the timing or forgot, so we will have with leftovers later: Cornbread, black olives, crescent rolls, and yams.

Also we didn't have gravy because it took till 4 in the morning to reduce it. But we still had fun!

Thanks again to all, and (belatedly) a very happy holiday!

[davicurtistaggart]

glad to be so much help! glad you had a good time and a happy holiday